I am sorry for being silent, these two months of university have taken so much of my energy. I saved a little by doing everything I could physically to deal with everything.
Previous weeks have been pressuring me in terms of my time and emotions. Problems kept showing up, dealt with unnecessary things, fake friends showed their true colors and much more. People taken me for granted, they thought I was stupid, not knowing they are losing the best person they can call as a friend.
I felt restless and I did not have good sleeps almost every night. I lost my apetite. I knew I needed to have ample time of sleep, but everything kept demotivating me, I was lost in an ocean of thoughts on my bed. 3-4 hours of sleep every night became my routine and I was not even thinking of how bad that routine can do to my body.
I was in the library this evening taking a short nap before going to the 5pm class. Who wouldve known, that short nap made me realise of how important to balance my time and my emotions so these two won't interfere with each other and cause tremendous aftermath.
When I was half sleeping, my brain started to pound so hard that I barely move any muscle or joint in my body. I thought i was going to die at that very corner in UM library. It is almost similar to Sleep Paralysis but it was never similar to what had happened to me this evening. My head never pounded when I was getting a paralysis.
There could be an inter-relation between them, since hypnagogic and hypnopompic sleep paralysis are caused by many factors including teenage age, lack of sleep, change of sleep pattern and much more which are strongly related to my condition. I feel like it is getting worse day by day. So what could it be? 🙏